What has gaming taught you?

[Joker]

No, get her to stand up while she making noises remarkably similar to those made during coitus. Ideally, they shoot her BEFORE she gets frisky enough to claw your eyes out

 

[Super Mario]

be sure to prepare ALOT of ammo for the final battle. Big Guys, fat obsese exploding men and sometimes a crying woman alone WILL surely appear when you least expect it.

 

[Mantichorus]

No matter how badly you kick the ass of the main villain, if it's not the end battle...

...HE NEEDED THAT WARM-UP, BITCH.

 

[Max Caulfield]

That having scars on your face or obvious body parts makes you a badass.

 

[Hisako]

Gaming taught me that in a post-apocalyptic future, penultimate battles for the sake of humanity in coming-of-age adventures will be over water purifiers.

And people will sacrifice their lives for these water purifiers.

 

[Lord Noctis]

If a fellow student ever says "You ever wonder if your master is holding you back? You know, making sure you don't become to powerful." Just impale them on your saber then and there. You'll be saving yourself a lot of trouble later on.

 

[Hisako]

To be honest, I'd do that with absolutely anyone who puts the words "power" and "Jedi" in the same sentence in that context.


Also, there is only another fist under Kyle Katarn's beard, his badassery means his only facial expression is "slightly snarky and good-humored".

 

[Bex]

That if you jump to your death, your magical gf will appear and throw you to safety.

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Never sit in a chair with a crazy ass scientist just about to close a sphere around you in order to trap a psychotic naked bitch who is ripping reality apart with her freakin mind....
cause you get raped in 3rd person!

 

[Sheva Alomar]

Zombies are everywhere, even outer space.

 

[Joe]

It is possible for a Balkan Immigrant, A Hispanic club manager and A Biker gang member to all have the exact same personality.

 

[Alex]

Always buy Energizer batteries, for they are the only ones that exist ever.

 

[looneymoon]

I found work today progressed strangely like an RPG.

Clean the fridge! find a cloth and fill your bucket with soapy water. Random monsters include stain monster and grease clot. Use the soap for super effective attacks!

Fill the merchandiser with as much candy as fast as possible! Enemies include opened bags of candy that explode everywhere. Use your broom and garbage bag to defeat them!

Find the vaccuum. Find the keys for the room the vaccuum is in. You have obtained a vaccuum. The breaker is off in The Room you're supposed to clean, thus you can't use the vaccuum. Figure out the right breaker without turning off any other room! Boss battle: kill all the crumb minions with your vaccuum.

Final boss: fight the exploding vaccuum with the working vaccuum which was in the The Room all along. =\

Suffice to say, RPGs have given me ubreakable patience. Especially for longwinded tasks that, when you look back on them, could have taken you 5 minutes

 

[Celes Chere]

After playing Heavy Rain, I now believe more in NEVER ACCEPT DRINKS FROM STRANGERS.

Otherwise they'll

Spoiler

Tie you up in their basements, try to drill your vag, and feel you up.

 

[Lord Noctis]

After playing Heavy Rain, I now believe more in NEVER ACCEPT DRINKS FROM STRANGERS.

Otherwise they'll

Spoiler

Tie you up in their basements, try to drill your vag, and feel you up.

What game taught you that!?

 

[Celes Chere]

After playing Heavy Rain

 

[Lord Noctis]

......I can't believe I missed that. Damn I need to get some sleep.

 

[Joker]

...and you want me to play this WHY? xD

 

[Joe]

Likely for inspiration

 

[Mantichorus]

After playing Heavy Rain, I now believe more in NEVER ACCEPT DRINKS FROM STRANGERS.

Otherwise they'll

Spoiler

Tie you up in their basements, try to drill your vag, and feel you up.

JIN! D:<

When all else fails, you will develop a new ability that allows you to hand the enemy their asses.

Except when it doesn't. Then you're screwed.

 

[Lelouch]

i learned potions can restore our life.

 

[Bex]

A broken light switch solves all the problems in the w-
ok no seriously, WHAT THE FUCK

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

After playing Heavy Rain, I now believe more in NEVER ACCEPT DRINKS FROM STRANGERS.

Otherwise they'll

Spoiler

Tie you up in their basements, try to drill your vag, and feel you up.

See i was smart enough not to accept the drink from him.
You still end up in the same predicament but the basic common sense value is upped.

Also you are never just an ordinary kid, all you need is some fucked up event to give you uber powers and you save the world in less than 2 discs!

 

[Joe]

If a boss is far too strong for you, walk back a few paces and kill the same two enemies for about 2ish hours, then fight the boss. Your power will ave grown

 

[Celes Chere]

...and you want me to play this WHY? xD

BECAUSE IT'S REALLY FUCKED UP. >=D