What has gaming taught you?

[Joe]

Grand Theft Auto's cheats taught me that a van can fly faster than a jet.

 

[Dark and Divine]

Gaming has taught me that kangaroos and velociraptors with boxe gloves are dangerous.

 

[Mantichorus]

Now I think on it, gaming's taught me a fair bit. I mean, I wouldn't know as much on folklore and mythology - always my favourite subject - as I do now if it wasn't for the Final Fantasy and Shin Megami Tensei series, and Ôkami. Due to gaming, I've learnt about imaginary number (a term referring to the hypothetical square root of -1, expressed as i) and zetta (10 to the power of 21, or a sextillion).

I could also fit dozens of The World Ends With You quotes here - "only by allowing strangers in can we find new ways to be ourselves", "don't let life hold you back", "give up on yourself and you give up on the world", "keep moving forward, because someday your dream will find you", "enjoy each moment with all ya got" (I know, that's five, but I said I could fit dozens, not I would).

But the most important, most crucial thing I have learnt is this: if you see a guy with silver hair, and he's not really old, run like f***.

 

[ForceStealer]

I've wondered if a baby were born in Japan would they kill it on the spot?

 

[Cthulhu]

It taught me excellent reflexes. Whenever I hold something in one or both hands, it automatically points to people's heads.

When faced with adversity, lvl up.

That Germans all die squealing "Mein leben!", and that Hitler's got a fucking robot suit with miniguns.

That my life is for both Aiur and Ner'Zhul. This was a very conflicting period in my life.

More recently, that if you get shot, just take cover for a few seconds and you're fine.

Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault taught me that medics in the Pacific in WW2 always vomited over their shoulder whenever they had to patch you up. Always.

That one can carry half an arsenal and still be able to kill thousands.

It taught me that it's okay to steal a convertible, pick up a prostitute from the street, do her, wait until she gets out, then either run her over, beat her to a pulp with a baseballbat, or shoot a nearby car so it runs her over.

Finally, never leave the house without a crowbar.

 

[Hisako]

Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault taught me that medics in the Pacific in WW2 always vomited over their shoulder whenever they had to patch you up. Always.

Man you ask your corpsman to patch you up (and his name's always Jim) and he looks at you and he's all "you're gonna be okay" and then when he vomits it's sending such mixed signals and you're just crouching there waiting for him to stick a needle in and slap a bandage on the space in front of the hole in your gut while this moron's trying to reassure you and hurl chunks at the sight of your wound at the same time

If I sound bitter it's probably because I am

Also, gaming taught me that in the future humans are going to use institutionalised criminals in armor as most of their ground military force.

Oh wait wow

 

[Babble Fish]

Gaming has taught me what a real headache fucking feels like. I suck ;;

 

[Ⓐaron]

Gaming has taught me how to shot web.

 

[RawrieStrife]

It's taught me if I kill somebody their bodies will just disappear.

In terms of Crisis Core, Phoenix Downs are the most useful thing you can have, it brings you back to life, but at the end, its just a worthless piece of crap.

And your hostage never dies no matter how long it took you to get to them.

 

[Hisako]

I learnt it's always safe to assume that your gruff, dependable and stoic leader will always shoot you in the back after you complete your objective and give The Package to him personally, whereupon they will further explain their intentions by giving you a heartfelt villainous speech whilst you are doused in gasoline and set on fire

Where The Package is any device that is important to keep from the wrong hands, whose hands will inevitably be your leaders'.


For example, today I picked up a delivery for my boss and after taking the box she knocked me down the stairs and gave me a speech on occupational health and safety while dousing me in gasoline and setting me on fire.

 

[Joker]

Wait

You work for Fiona?

 

[Hisako]

I geddit though. Nice.

 

[Cthulhu]

And your hostage never dies no matter how long it took you to get to them.

You've played the wrong games if you think that. There's this liek one modern popular liek game, where time actually slows down because after 2.3 seconds the hostages are dead.

For example, today I picked up a delivery for my boss and after taking the box she knocked me down the stairs and gave me a speech on occupational health and safety while dousing me in gasoline and setting me on fire.

Oh, mine did that too. I stuck her with my knife though and I've gone rogue. Problem solved. Of course, I couldn't have done it without my alter ego from the last combat situation I ended up in.

 

[RawrieStrife]

You've played the wrong games if you think that. There's this liek one modern popular liek game, where time actually slows down because after 2.3 seconds the hostages are dead.

Really? Never did my hostage get killed.
I should really pay a visit to the video game store.

 

[Mantichorus]

Just because you're on a fantasy planet that never had a Russia, it doesn't mean you can't find a villain with a Russian accent.

The princess is always in another castle.

A man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a sniper rifle for?

If the background music changes just before a fight... someone's in for an ass-kicking. Let's hope it's the enemy.

 

[Joe]

If the background music starts changing when your playing a horror/thriller game, walk back the way you came.

 

[Max Caulfield]

How to properly break into places that I am not supposed to go.

 

[Sheva Alomar]

You can save a character's life if you're either a total dick or their bestest friend. Just don't be neutral.

 

[Joker]

Seriously, if it's not in a locked cabinet or drawer, it's yours for the taking.

 

[Sheva Alomar]

Scrap metal makes for really good currency sometimes.

 

[Ⓐaron]

23. Capitalism Is a Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.
...
31. Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.

 

[Joker]

Scrap metal makes for really good currency sometimes.

This is why I lol at Fallout. Bottlecaps XD


Aaron - that list of cliches is one of the best things ever. I printed that out when I was back in HIGH SCHOOL and have kept it with me and read it for lulz from time to time ever since. I determined this weekend that I lost the printout I had ;.;

 

[Joe]

Someone needs to find me this list

Dynasty Warriors taught me that killing 1000 enemy soldiers in a single battle doesn't always merit a promotion

 

[Joker]

Easily done, Joseph-san.

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

 

[Ⓐaron]

I linked it in an earlier post :<